Are stretchmarks taboo?


How important are looks in today’s society?. Do social media make it more difficult to date? In most cases people go by physical appearances, especially men, who are visual creatures. Do women who are not considered a “bad bitch.” Stand a chance, against, the social media vixens?. Let me share my experience trying to date after giving birth.

One of the biggest insecurities of dating after childbirth, are those infamous stretch marks, and the appearance of your belly button. Unfortunately, even exercising don’t necessary change the appearance of that. God forbid you get cellulite on your thighs as well. Your dating life would be completely “taboo.”



Well. Welcome to my world. That was my experience. I met someone from social media, and he was “in love.” from my pictures. Which is quite shocking, cause I’m not the girl who highlight my body. But I know about “angles.” Don’t get me wrong. I do consider myself an attractive woman, for what some may call,  a “basic bitch!.”

However, after we got to know each other a “little better.” In lament terms. He went from being madly in love, to suggesting we be nothing more than friends. I mean, immediately afterwards.

Many people may say it was due to sex etc. it wasn’t. He requested sex several times. A cow is good enough for sex though. You know men. Anyway, he just couldn’t get pass the fact of my imperfections, and I didn’t make it any better, by getting dressed so quickly, damn near, knocking over everything in the room, to avoid the embarrassment of being seen naked.

How do social media play apart,in this whole dating ritual? Well. It’s now easy to compare. Remember. Women are always in competition, whether we are aware of it or not. So social media, now just have women, with the “perfect bodies.” All at the click of a button. So regardless of the qualities we may have, education, credit, looks etc. In today’s world, that’s not half as important, as image.

So when old dude, gave me the polite  axe. Like. You just not popping enough. I readjusted my crown. Embraced my imperfections. And rejoiced in the fact that I have a beautiful, healthy daughter to show for it.

I let him leave. I started exercising and getting healthy, in mind and in spirit, and of course, in the physical. And I also used this experience as a blue print. Keeping myself up. For me!. But also being 100% honest, about the inside, and outside of me. In hopes no one ever feel, like they’ve been “Catfished” ever again.  I can’t change my birth scars – well I can. But. You know.

So for myself, and any one else who shares this experience. It’s a must to embrace men, who can except those real life imperfections. Who aren’t so vein, and social media have no affect on their way of thinking. And the ability to see pass certain flaws. A man, who understands, that no one is perfect, and that finding a mate, is not about finding perfection, but about finding someone who’s capable of being loyal, honest, God fearing and one you can build with.

If those aren’t his traits and his thought process.  Then he didn’t deserve you anyway.

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