Behind close doors


“I’m strong, deviant, and independent, I most certainly,can handle myself, so  I wouldn’t call our confrontation, abuse, because I fought back.” — These are words commonly used in Domestic Abuse.

Strong women keep their abuse quiet, because, they’ve become accustomed to the “hands on confrontation.” Another reason, It’s also kept quiet, is to, “show face”, to  friends, and family, is the fear  of embarrassment, and being labeled, “weak.”

Let’s be honest -with a few exceptions- a women can’t beat no man. No matter the, toe to toe, blow to blow, situation, a woman will still be left,with the most scars. Another thing to consider is, if you jump, when your man raises his hand. Your being abused.

The strong black woman, is usually unaware of the fact that she’s in an abusive relationship, Yeah, I know that sounds crazy, but a few busted lips, and a black eye, is common in a “fist fight” right?, so what’s the difference if it came from my man?. And I fought back?.

The difference is, that good old fashion cliche,”that a man who loves you, don’t hit.” Plus, a person don’t necessarily know their own strength when their angry. One good hit can leave you dead. Not to mention, the emotional scaring, for every time, he blacks your eye, or bust your lip, you get up feeling,  different. Indifferent!.  And with each hit, it takes a little more from your relationship.

Getting out. Is learning your self worth. Preparing  for your safe exit, and be prepared to, not go back to your abuser!.

The reality is, is most abused women, are killed when they return to their abusers. Do not make, the mistake, that is very common and familiar, by staying for family, for the sake of the kids, or by lying to yourself, and thinking, you can handle it, due to your ability to throw a few punches back.

Abuse is abuse.

Don’t make the mistake I made, and countless others. Leave. There  are many women shelters, who can help you change your identity, and keep you safe, from your abusers.

Do not take abuse sitting down, and yes, you are a victim, no matter how hard you fight back physically.


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