Finding Closure

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Closure is one of the hardest things to come to terms with after a break-up. If you are a self title realiest, such as myself, you have learned to come to terms with moving on. Some of you may already know, that most men, will screw you over, leave you alone, and simply move on to destroy the next woman. However, if you anything like the old me. You need lots reassurance and answer’s as to, “why?.” One of my major concern’s after a break-up, has always been, about him living a happily ever after, with someone else. Truth be told though, no one ever really lives, “happily ever after.”, and most men, have flaws that they aren’t even aware of, and like,” an ole broken hearted girl”, they too, is going to carry that baggage, right into a new relationship.

Now, with  that being said, do not let your thoughts become all bent out of shape, thinking, he’ll be better with another woman, than he was with you.  Girl!. NOT! More than likely, before he makes, any one, an honest woman, he’ll probably break a few more hearts along the way. My suggestion, is that you should try,  “self evaluation”, and  by that,  I don’t mean, blaming everything on yourself.  Though, it’s not a bad idea, to accept, any wrong doing, if there was any, on your part.  Also, try not to make the same mistake twice.

‘The same mistake twice”, can also mean, your choice of men. Are you only attracted to a certain type of guy? Sometimes, we attrack, and meet, the maninfesation’s, of what we truly feel, and think, about ourselves. I went through a stage of loneliness. Many women, may be all to familar, of what I mean by that.  I inherited, what I called, “lonely syndrome.” Witch opened doors, an opprotunity, for a narcissist to come along, play on my vulnerability.  He played well, and I was in-love, and like the narcissist he was, he tried it.

However, I caught on, before he can divide and conquor. And he walked, and blamed it on, the fact that he needed “time.”, and just like real love, I was infatuated, and the though of love, can hurt, just as much, if not more, if it’s snatched away from you.

Finding closure however. After you’ve made a bad choice. My belief, is that, a selfish man, do not provide  you closure. That is because he is leaving the door open, to come back, if ever his heart so chooses, and you’ll come runnig back. Especially since, he never said, ” it was over”- I literrally was told this by the way – So, as a woman. It is our job, to find it on our own. My theory is this. A man who loves you, or really like you, for that matter, do not need time away from you, or need to explore his options. He will not allow the opportunity for another man to come steal you away.  The best way too find closure, is by simply, letting go, and not over thinking anything twice. Also, allow yourself time to heal, and evaulate why, you’ve even choosen a certain indiviual, and ask yourself truthfully, was this person going to be someone, you could have genuinely made a life with?.  I mean,was there truly substance behind your courtship?. Coming to terms with a break-up and your expectation, can help healing and closure, a lot quicker, than holding on, to possibilities, or him providing you with answers.

 

 

Divalicious
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