I’ll be the first to admit. For years I was looking for a man to validate me. The only problem is, with rejection came self doubt, self destruction, and worst of all, I’ve allowed myself to be disposed of like waist. When I didn’t fit someone else’s “standards.”
Then I’ve decided. I might need to start loving myself. Work on the things I feel has been my flaw. Because what I’ve learned about myself while being used and abused, is that, I didn’t like the feeling of it. So. The only other choice left. Was to start loving my damn self. No boys allowed. This was a time for personal healing. Preservation. I wanted to no longer allow a man to have his way with me, whether it’s sexual, playing house, financially or platonically. As I always was left feeling empty, used,and seriously doubting of myself. So. The men had to go!.
I will say this. Will you believe how challenging it is to just love yourself. That’s challenging also, because after being broken down, and misused. You loose your self worth, self esteem. And rebuilding that back do not happen over night. It may indeed take years, but it’s so worth it. I promise. Cause once the scars of self hatred heals, and the skulls of them broken souls left inside your wounds desolved. You’ll love your new found you. And to breath a breath of fresh air. Without pain or doubt. It’s no greater feeling.